Big Games in a Small World

WE MADE IT!!! We have successfully come to the end of a miserable week. I would like to take this moment to announce a MAJOR change to lastoke.ca. This MAJOR change to the blog will both scare and excite you to the point where you say: "WOW, this is totally different I can't believe it."

Though I can't give too much of the MAJOR change away I can inform you that John and I are very excited about it. Further, we promise to hold ourselves to the same standards as in all our previous posts. To see our standards refer to the Official Lastoke Guide to Excellence included at the bottom of the blog.

To celebrate this NEW and MAJOR change we decided to end blog 1.0 with a call back to the old. Enjoy.

My name is,

Stuart from Canada

Official Lastoke Guide to Excellence

• John and Stuart hereby promise to create the best product possible using the least possible energy
• John and Stuart hereby promise that a minimum of 90% of their videos and or content will include either obscenities, offensive content, inappropriate behaviour, or nudity.
• John and Stuart hereby promise to continually search for new and inventive ways to publicly humiliate ourselves.
• John and Stuart hereby promise to favour our viewers proportionally to how often they comment.

P.S: People As People has been updated with the answer. Thanks for all your guesses, but the "V" on this one goes to Emily, who suggested it was in fact John from Canada. Wrong, but close enough for us! Special shout out goes also to Alex, who suggested his brother. Congratulations!

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Art

Good evening,

Today we decided to mix things up a little and instead of posting a video, we would post my latest art project: a series of photographs entitled "SAD: Through the eyes of Stuart".

SAD is the culmination of over 15 years of artistic frustration and disenchantment with the mainstream art world. When I set out to create SAD, I looked first at my immediate situation: the miserable living conditions of the lower room. There I also found my subject: a young and incredibly troubled man by the name of Stuart from Canada, who shared the physical and emotional misery of inhabiting a smelly garbage-filled dungheap.

But through these immediate elements, I sought to express the deeper and more meaningful feelings of disenchanment and sadness that are ubiquitous, universal...human. I hope you, like I, believe that SAD has been successful in this goal.

To give you further insight into my greater understanding and artistic brilliance, the photographs are accompanied by an interview with yours truly, the Creator.

Enjoy,

John from Canada

Inversion
John from Canada
2009

Suffocation
John from Canada
2009


The Mirror
John from Canada
2009

A Mainly Miserable Week

I have the most urgent of news to impart to you all. As everybody knows this week has been a miserable week. Also as everybody knows John and I have been living in a cave for the past week. What you don't know is that today we were able to get back into the main house while we reset the house for the next group of people.

Besides the heavy smell of Indian cuisine it was a a welcome relief to emerge back into a place where your bed doesn't butt up against a sack of garbage. However, you will be shocked to find out that despite the rantings,garbage, smell, and general awfulness John has optionally and voluntarily decided to stay in the basement. John is under the impression that the house contains a curse which dooms him to have bad dreams whenever he sleeps in it. Some of this more memorable dreams include such unsavory characters such as walruses with riddles, three headed dogs, and couch people.

Dance dance,

Stuart from Canada

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Food

Hi everybody!

Don't think that the above exclaimation mark implies a happy tone. Also don't assume the preceeding sentence implies an unhappy tone. This is an emotion neutral post. Remember, when you assume, you make assumptions. Which is bad.

Just in time for our slow and torturous descent into insanity to make a slight upsurge, our landlord showed up and a) gave us money, b) took some money, c) took away the garbage (YAYYY!), and d) offered us his car while he was in an undisclosed (to you, not to us - he's not that shifty) central asian country. We gladly accepted A and C, wished we could decline B but couldn't, and had to decline D since we have no idea how to drive on these godforsaken crazy mixed-up totally lawless roads.

In the food section of today's news (that's right, it's the one next to "Wheels" that you always throw out), bread and cheese! It's the newest delicacy in Edinburgh! You don't need to eat anything but a small portion of bread and cheese, every day for the rest of your life! Give it a try...I sure am!

In a final note, today is Discount Easter Chocolate Products Day. I hope all of you were adequately prepared, because I wasn't. Luckily, our landlord happened to be carrying some chocolate and a bottle of milk that he gave to us. Why exactly he was carrying unneeded and unopened chocolate and milk remains unclear.

And that's all folks!

Take it all in,

John from Canada

Garbage

Hey Everyone,

I hope everyone enjoyed their chocolate and guilt. One of the highlights of our weekend featured dramatic reenactment of the crucifixion. It was totally historical and super real, though i was surprised to learn that jesus actually had a scottish accent.

It is the start of a new week. Some of you might think that this week isn't special but oh boy is it ever. This week John and I celebrate the first day in what we affectionately call 'Miserable Week'. See John and I deprived of food, comfort and any standard of living in today, the first installment, of a truly miserable week.

Take what you need and eat what you take,

Stuart from Canada