*&%# IN MY &%#

Greetings viewers and welcome to today. What is today you ask? Well, if you've been following us the past week you'll know that E-day is upon us. No, this comedic bastardization of a code name most commonly associated with the 1944 invasion of France has nothing to do with war at all. It actually refers to the arrival of two Canadians arriving at Edinburgh Airport. They will further E-day by catching a bus from the airport riding it to the city centre. The pair will then proceed on foot and after getting lost for several hours will find a phone in order to call John and Stuart for help.

That's pretty much the whole operation.

In other news, John from Canada has changed his name to Dr. Alice Mombosi. In an effort to make himself seem more like a 50 year old female Indian Doctor. He will further this transition by buying a coat and giving out medical advise to people who haven't asked for it. Today's video once again chronicles the exploits of our Canadian correspondents as they spend their final days in Canada wrapping up some loose ends and saying goodbye.

Enjoy,

Stuart from Canada

Tips and Tricks

Hello everybody!

This morning (I say this morning, really I mean 3 or 4 in the morning) our Canadian correspondents blessed us with another video with some useful tips about travelling in Scotland.

I wracked my brains to see if I had any useful tips that I could come up with, but all I could think of were these:

1. Ignore the smell.
2. You can't understand them, so don't try.
   
3. Avoid the scotch until you're 40.
   
4. Don't laugh at people in kilts, they're serious.
5. Ignore the smell.
   
6. You can't do shit about the tramworks, even if they are ripping the heart out of local businesses.
   
7. Don't go out on football night.
8. Ignore the smell.

If you keep all that in mind and forget about the exchange rate, you'll be fine! So until next time...

Boldly going where no man has gone before,

John from Canada

Monday Bloody Monday

And there's two things I forgot...

For those familiar with the band The Cat Empire, those are the lyrics to The Car Song. For those unfamiliar with the Cat Empire, those are appropriate descriptions of exactly what happened tonight.

So...

Hey, has anyone noticed how Stuart from Canada and I have been alternating posting? Yeah...so that's the first thing...cause Stu's kinda alseep right now. And hey, they say not to wake a sleeping Yeti. Waking a waking Yeti is dangerous enough. You're going to fuck with it while it's sleeping now? What's wrong with you?!

And as for the second...

You know what's deteriorating besides the Mona Lisa and most of the historical sites in Greece? The standard of Canadian journalism!

Canadian correspondents my ass...

To punish them, Stuart and I decided (well, Stu said 'Toy Tuck' in his sleep which I took to mean yes) NOT to produce a witty and clever retort to their video tonight, and instead leave them to fend on their own. Let's see what they do with that...

So to conclude, me posting tonight has nothing to do with a combination of persistent insomnia and night terrors and everything to do with cryptozoological studies of rare mountain species, and the lack of a video from your favourite and MOST RELIABLE people has nothing to do with Strongbow Original Cider and everything to do with a certain REDHEADED CANADIAN CORRESPONDENT WHO'S NAME RHYMES WITH "BATHE IN" (as in "you should bathe in some sulphuric acid for being so late with your video").

So, I will leave you with a parting that our Canadian correspondents will thoroughly enjoy and I will find horribly ironic:

Sleep tight,

John from Canada







Kevin and Nathan from Canada's video submi- oh wait, I don't need to put this usual band of italic descriptor text (as we call it in the business) because there is no second video, largely due to the fact that a certain REDHEADED CORRESPONDENT desperately needed his beauty sleep. And I mean DESPERATELY...

P.S: For Canadian Correspondents Nathan and Kevin from Canada's Eyes Only: jk lolz, u r teh coolest 4vr no foolin. c u in 2 dz, dawgz! love LJ

Competitions

Hey Folks!

I have a riddle for you:

What do you do when 15 Irishmen show up at your house?

Give them the keys, of course!

As I write this, I'm sitting listening to loud, Irish folk music and a drunken singalong. The guys upstairs aren't bad blokes, but they did insist on having a door slamming party ALL day today, and one of them, returning drunk from a pub (at 6:30 in the evening), did try to get into our room.

Luckily for us, a) they didn't have keys, and b) an Irishman's vision is based on movement, so by remaining very still they never found out we were here.

In other news, Edinburgh's weather changes on a dime! Today's highlights included hail, rain, sleet, and warm, cozy, 22 degree sun all in the same hour!

Our Canadian correspondents have provided us with yet another fantastic video. Not to be outdone, Stuart and I attempted one of our own.

God rest ye merry gentlemen,

John from Canada



Kevin and Nathan from Canada's video submission.








Stuart and John from Canada's video submission.

Fun things to do

Today started out a little differently then days of recent memory, mainly that it was decidedly sunny outside. However we were not surprised by to see the rain return by the time the sun started to set.

In other unrelated news my facial hair has started begun the formations of what John calls 'beardhood'. I have also raised over 10,000 dollars for the Lastoke foundation. Thank you to all those people who sent in donations.

Also, We've received yet another video from our correspondents in Canada and have once again coupled a video entry of our own to go alongside. Enjoy.

Boom,Boom,Boom,Boom, I want you in my room,

Stuart from Canada

Kevin and Nathan from Canada's video submission.








Stuart and John from Canada's video submission.

The Edinburgh Eatathon

Greetings everybody!

Today Stuart and I received an email from two Lastoke correspondents and up-and-coming LADs, Kevin and Nathan from Canada.

Putting their lives selflessly on the line for quality entertainment, Kevin from Canada did the unimaginable in a video they sent to us following a night of gastric bypasses and stomach pumping.

Just to show that we are in solidarity with their cause for greater entertainment (and also to show that we can do it too), Stuart decided to also put his health and well-being on the line and attempt the same dangerous task.

The first video below is that submitted by our Canadian correspondents earlier today. Our video follows.

WARNING: The following videos contain images that some viewers may find disturbing or grotesque. We advise viewer discretion. Please do not attempt this yourself.



Kevin and Nathan from Canada's video submission.








Stuart and John from Canada's video submission.

Lastoke "Interesting Fact": The piece of bread pictured in the above video is, you may have noticed, thicker than the average piece of toast. In Scotland, loaves of sliced bread are actual loaves of bread, sliced, which often results in really, really thick end pieces. This is, of course, in contrast to North American sliced bread, which aims to be something sliced first, and actual bread second.