What?

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Geez, these Stuart & John from Canada guys are getting pretty undependable. They can't seem to get a video on time anymore!"

And then that gets you thinking, what if nothing is dependable anymore? What if the whole world is going to collapse because your favourite people in the world aren't as dependable as you thought they were?!

Well, you're wrong. The world isn't going to collapse, and we're very dependable.

Let me tell you the story of what happened to us last night, and hopefully you'll see why we didn't post.

It begins with us staying with some very nice couchsurfers in Berlin. We just arrived earlier that morning, and spent the day walking around the government district, where twenty or so massive, Orwellian-style buildings make you feel like an ant in an industrial park. We got back home, and decided we were all going to go out to a 48 hour arts festival in a nearby district of Berlin.

But wait, it gets better.

We arrive at an abandoned, derelict brewery, where there is an independent art installation. Three floors of this building have been taking over as a gallery for independent artists (as has the neighbouring underground paintball arena). We spend a few hours there, some of which we spend being confused by German artists, and then we head out again.

But wait, it gets better.

Now we are heading to something called KLAUS! KLAUT!, which is described as a "48-hour non-stop social role-playing improvisational experiment in which you try and find Klaus."

Okay...

When we arrive, there is a team of exhausted looking people wearing t-shirts with KLAUS! on them who give us buttons saying (in German) kidnapper, accomplice, and victim. Stuart and I choose victim.

We are ushered into a makeshift cinema where they show us an instructional video, in German, translated by our hosts.

We are then ushered into a cellar, where there is an interrogation chair, a bright light, a "KLAUS! Wants To Be A Millionaire" set, and several video cameras. We are afraid we are going to die as part of some obscure German art project, but we go along anyway.

We're then asked, as victims, to sit in a chair and hold a sign that says "I have been a prisoner for one hour." Our captors (our hosts) give us requests to read into a camera that the accomplice is using to film us.

We then have to do whatever the captor demands.

The film, they say, will be edited together into news footage that they will show at the end of the 48 hour non-stop social role-playing improvisational experiment, along with everyone else's strange scenarios.

The KLAUS! Wants To Be A Millionaire set was never used. God only knows what that's for.

After crawling back home over Berlin public transit (the Free-bahn), it was past 2:30 in the morning and we were exhausted from a combination of modern art and 48 hour non-stop social role-playing improvisational experiments.

At any rate, it was a very odd, very indescribable situation. This description will no doubt not do it justice, but here's how I would summarize it: it was like being in a strange cellar, decorated by strange objects, with everyone speaking a strange language, and you have to do the Chicken Dance.

For two minutes.

Anyway, this is some of the footage we managed to compile, but since NOTHING can really do it justice, we hope that this post, combined with this video footage, will give you some idea of what happened to us last night.

Please, for the love of god, FIND KLAUS!

John from Canada