Settlers of Scotland (Stuart and John Edition)

Often John and I have discussed our love for a certain game, namely 'Settlers of Catan'. This highly amusing infinitely frustrating game is played by a maximum of 4 people. However, if you value the people your playing with you will limit your games to 3 people, as name calling, thieving, and an entitlement to the best spot often erupt among 4 player games.

Heres how you play:

The game starts with everyone complaining that someone took their spot and that how their strategy is ruined. (Note: This phase is particularly important in the case of a loss, at which time players can blame the person who took their spot)

Next everyone takes turns rolling the dice, collecting resource, and building more settlements. Make sure to watch for the player who nonchalantly builds their road extra long in the hopes that not everyone on the board realises they are trying to get the Longest Road card.

At this point in the game a player will build the first city at which time all other players will frustratingly remark that they have no idea how they built that so fast. This person is unofficially called the 'Catan Douchebag'. (Note: From this point on the 'Catan Douchebag' is discreetly targeted receiving unfair trades and derisive comments lasting for the remainder of the game.

The next important element to mention is the robber or rowbear as it is colloquially known. The moving of the robber allows one player to steal a card from a player of their choosing and at the same time stop that player from collecting resources. The robber is often the source of angry words in Catan and is in constant use. (Note: All players will claim that the robber is put of them everytime and that everyone is ganging up on them. The phrase "Why Me", "Big Surprise", or "Fuck Off" are often connected to the robbers movements.

Finally, the game ends when the person you expect to win is suddenly and maliciously overthrown by the player that up to that point has been in last place. It is here that all losing players lament their loss and explain to each other how they would have won next turn. These players then join together to mutually dislike the winner who carefully disguises his glee at so throughly beating the others.

Below is our own representation of Scotland if it was a Catan board. Notice the heavy presence of Sheep. Feel free to comment on the best placement spots.

Cheers,

Stuart from Canada

Click to enlarge.