Mission Ambiguous

!Ota,

(^That's Sotho Swahili for hello!)

In today's post, I want to reach out to the good people in our audience and share with them a message from all housekeepers, guest house staff, and hotel receptionists. Please, for the love of God, if your vacation isn't exactly as you imagined, deal with it.

After spending most of the day cleaning the house for the arrival of 20 women whose purpose in Edinburgh remains a mystery to us (and we only had beds for 19!), we got to deal with their three INCREDIBLY finicky leaders, providing them with a) 6 sets of keys; b) two full rolls of toilet paper in each bathroom; and c) a full-on inspection of the house so they could not be claimed for damages (like we don't know what's damaged already at this point, having lived here for almost a month).

Beyond that, we had lots of fun playing with the hot water heater. We played a game called "Find the Pilot Light!". We lost that one, so we moved on to another game called "Fix the Industrial Scale Boiler Following Only Vague Instructions". Stuart won that one after about forty tries. We had so much fun that we played a third game, "Figure Out Why The Fuck The Heat Isn't On But The Water Is Hot!". Much to our amazement, we won that one too after only 30 minutes. It was so much fun, I look forward to playing again the next time 20 angry and picky women show up at the house for a complaining party.

In fact, by the end of the night, we had gone in and out of the house more times than all of the guests combined, each time having to knock and apologize profusely for interrupting their...well, we don't know what it was. Hen Party? Whatever.

So the gist of today's post, ladies and gentlemen, is be kind to your hotel staff and receptionists. Otherwise, you will never know how much they truly resent you until you find a turd in your pillow.

!Ato,

(^That's Notho Swahili for goodbye)

John from Canada



P.S: Don't forget to suggest your picks for the "Best Of" section by posting a comment or emailing us at info@lastoke.ca.

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